Travels with Hayley

Kerry and I got another early start in the local ‘Cafe Amazon’ as the hotel WiFi was apparently being run by a hamster on a wheel – and he was asleep 🙄 Once I’d taken advantage of their technology and a delicious strawberry frappe I headed back to prepare for this morning’s countryside tour.

This was meant to be a bike tour but the number of enthusiastic cyclists had dropped to 5, with the rest of us very wisely opting for the shade and comfort of a tuk tuk! First impressions of Battambang weren’t great – we’d been promised an architectural mix of French elegance and Vietnamese design – I was expecting something like Havana’s dilapidated colonial beauty but found that was sadly lacking. There was some French colonial design – if you squint a tiny bit – but it mainly just feels a bit run down with huge wide streets, very dusty and not terribly charming. Saying that, and to be fair, it was raining and grey which makes everything look a bit rubbish so maybe it’s a sunshine town and everything will change with a few rays – let’s see.

We tuk tuk-ed through the countryside, waving at all of the excited children and hanging out of the side to take photos. We passed through a Muslim area, all of the women were wearing headscarves and there was a big mosque, past a shack knocking out 8 different kinds of pizza – I’d love to know how successful that is, I don’t think I’ve seen any cheese since I’ve been here – and pulled up to our next stop.

This was a countryside and food tour which was very exciting, the first family we visited made their own rice paper, the kind you make spring rolls with. Mainly though people around here apparently just eat it as a snack dipped in a sauce. Normally we would have seen them make it but rain is not the making of rice paper’s friend apparently (air too damp I assume?) so we just had to look at the equipment and use our imagination 😂 Also included in this stop was a welcome wee (believe it or not, this was salubrious compared to many of the toilets we’ve been in) and some cute kids and another puppy 😍.

To identify homemade rice paper as opposed to factory made (you know, in case this ever comes up in a pub quiz, you’ll thank me then…) it tastes saltier as it’s made with salt water which prevents holes forming and it’s not a perfect circle. It’s a bit chewier too. The lady made us some fresh summer rolls (uncooked spring rolls basically) and then some deep fried ones, both with a dipping sauce of sugar, salt, carrot, lime, peanuts and water, both of which were delicious. They sell 100 sheets of rice paper for 2USD which seems like a tiny amount for all the work that goes into it, I’m really glad Intrepid is supporting families like this to make at least a little bit of extra income from these tours.

I had a nice chat with the cycle tour guide, he was saying during Covid he became a push bike ‘mechanic’ Apparently there was a huge surge in cycling during the pandemic as the Cambodians were encouraged to get strong and fit to ward off the virus. Kom worked in a factory during that time – it seems like there’s no welfare state here so you had to quickly find something to turn your hand to or you were in real trouble. There but for the grace of God…

Next stop was all about the humble banana. We were treated to a veritable feast of fresh, thinly sliced then fried like crisps – both with and without sugar (made from green, unripe bananas) and the banana cheeks I teased you with yesterday.

Apparently there’s 4 types of banana grown over here. The first three make varying amounts of profit sold fresh, but the ones that grow on this families land are the fourth and ‘worst’ kind (called water bananas as they can grow in flooded areas) which no one will pay for fresh, so they’ve had to find a way to turn them into a profit. Goodness knows what the other three varieties taste like because there was a general consensus around the table that these were the best bananas we’d ever tasted!.

So, to banana cheeks (spoiler alert, no clue why they’re called cheeks…) You very very thinly slice the banana and lay it on a ridged wooden board – a picture paints a thousand words so take a look at the ones below! Then they’re dried in the sun and grilled for a few minutes before eating. Not only does this turn something previously unsellable into a unique product, they also last for 4 months so the family can make the most of any banana gluts.

I had a go at slicing the bananas – safe to say I’m not a natural – thank goodness the ladies making them are faster as they have to make 10 of those long boards per portion and they sell a portion for 2USD a piece. People have to work so hard for money here and the work must be so monotonous – it’s very humbling.

Next up – wine! Rice wine to be precise. Now, I wish I could tell you the process of how this is made, but despite it being explained to me twice, I still have no idea 😂 Something about stones of yeast and rice and…look, you’ll just have to pass on that pub quiz question or google it I’m afraid, I couldn’t ask the poor guy a third time to explain it to me, the shame!

One thing I did grasp is that they flavour some of it with jackfruit or banana. We all tried a bit and it was surprisingly smooth. Maybe I did understand the process actually but after the shot I’ve forgotten it, it was pretty potent at 40%! I did have a very confusing moment too when they kept talking about baguettes so I figured that’s where the yeast came in – turns out they were saying buckets, they keep the wine in buckets! This was not my finest hour altogether to be honest 😂

Also interesting to know, it’s a tax free business as it’s seen as medicinal (women are encouraged to drink it after giving birth, maybe just to forget the horror of the whole thing 😳) but to achieve this tax free status they aren’t allowed to bottle it, you have to bring your own bottle apparently. The whole thing was very confusing and the more I think about it, the more I’m blaming the consuming of the end product rather than me being generally inept!

We went over a bridge and pulled over to see a group of fisherman fishing for little silver fish (the women were selling them straight out of the water on the bridge). Another good reason to be in the tuk tuk not on a bike, you spot these things and have time to pull over to watch and take pictures, I feel fully vindicated in my decision to be lazy!

We stopped at a beautiful house for a refreshing coconut and some fruit – pineapple, mango and sapodilla – I think – the one with the black pips in the picture (which you don’t eat). It’s very similar in taste and texture to a pear – pales in comparison a bit I’m afraid to the incredible mango and pineapple they have here! Interestingly, the guides table had different fruit on it – sour jackfruit and green mango with the chilli, salt, sugar dip – apparently Cambodians much prefer sour fruit to sweet! I went for a wander and found a lady frying some things that Kom later identified as snake fish and tofu – I made various yummy noises in the hope of being offered some but to no avail 😂

The family are fisherman and Kom explained the theee types of basket they use – the one he’s holding in the picture is used by the women, you scape it along the bottom of the river and catch the little fish and crabs that are living there. The long one is used by cutting a small hole in the dams between rice paddies and putting this in, the fish swim in and can’t get out. Notice how there’s holes facing in 2 directions – means you can catch a fish whether they are swimming up or downstream – ingenious eh! The one the looks like a lampshade is used by the men. You tap it down across the river bottom until you get a fish trapped inside, then reach through the hole in the top and pull out the annoyed and writhing fish by hand. I was a bit annoyed about the gender division until I heard what the men have to do, they can keep that one…

Final stop was to try some bamboo sticky rice. This is a mixture of rice, coconut milk, sugar and black beans, cooked inside a piece of bamboo. It’s a very labour intensive process with lots of steps and the cooking alone over an open fire takes 3 hours with the bamboo having to be turned regularly. Each piece sells for a dollar a go.

I can’t say I was overly enamoured by it, it’s pretty dense and doesn’t taste of very much I thought. It’s super popular though so let’s assume I just have a highly uneducated palate! Tried to make friends with a very serious baby while we were watching the demo – she was having none of it. And then we headed off again.

Back to the city (where they have Street 1, Street 1.5, Street 2, Street 2.5 etc – way to make life hard for yourself…) and I headed out for a stroll around town.

I picked up a frozen Coke on the way, apparently these are at every McDonald’s and service station in Australia so the Ozzie contingent were baffled why I was so excited but I’ve never seen one before! Weirdly delicious, fizzy and frozen all at the same time.

The sun was blazing by now but I still can’t say it was the most beautiful place I’d ever been although I did find a few examples of nice buildings.

I ducked into the indoor market to find some shade – what a brilliant decision! I’d stumbled into the tailors section for special occasion or wedding clothes. Oh be still my blingy heart, it was spangle city as far as the eye could see! Everywhere you looked were beautiful fabrics in rich, jewel colours, dresses encrusted with rhinestones and sequins, sparkles, embellishments – it was like heaven! I walked around gawping at the stalls who sold nothing but sequins and beads, at the slightly terrifying mannequins draped in plastic and drinking in the rainbow explosion of colour.

Just when I thought it couldn’t get any better, the next part of the market was a hall almost as big as the eye could see selling nothing but jewellery! Bright, bright yellow gold, stones of every shape and colour, watches so encrusted with diamonds you could barely see the face. Less is most definitely not more here, in fact I think their motto might be more is more and then add more sequins on the top of that! I can’t understand who is buying all this stuff though, everyone has seemed very much less than affluent so far – maybe you save up all your money for special occasions to buy this sort of stuff?

Around the next corner we were back in more familiar territory with brightly coloured foodstuffs of all descriptions lining the narrow aisles along with temple offerings to the gods (not sure why the gods need cigarettes, but ours is not to question why I suppose…)

I came across a stall with a bunch of ladies who were sharing lunch and chatting. I said hello (Soos-deigh!) and did a lot of smiling. They were gorgeous, they were gesturing me to sit down and eat with them and all smiling and laughing so much. I indicated I wanted to take their picture and they screamed with excitement and started making poses and trying to get to join in too! The resulting pictures are dreadful as by this time I was laughing so much I couldn’t hold the camera still! A guy had come over to see what all the fuss was by this point and more screaming and hilarity ensued, and I was taken to understand he was rather smitten with my hair and teeth! As I eventually began to leave, weak with laughter, I got a few steps away and the shrieking went up a notch – I turned swiftly back and the guy had been pretending to try and follow me and take me back! Caught red handed he scuttled back while the ladies were dying of laughter, even more so when I went and took his arm and said come on then and pretended to leave with him! People were coming from other aisles to see what all the commotion was about, it was honestly one of the funniest moments I’ve ever had 😍

Next encounter was with a guy on the street selling river clams – I’d indicated I wanted to take a picture and it turned out he spoke a little English. We talked about where I came from and I asked what he was cooking so he prised a clam open and offered it to me. Now we’ve already established I’m up for a culinary adventure, but seafood left out in the sun for hours just doesn’t strike me as the most genius of moves so I apologised profusely that me being a vegetarian and all meant I couldn’t take him up on his kind offer 😜

By this point I fancied a drink and a sit down so I walked back in the vague direction of the hotel and came across a backpackers hostel advertising a rooftop bar so went in. Being instructed to leave my shoes at the door, I then had to walk through the building and up 6 flights of stairs in my bare feet which felt slightly odd. The bar was deserted but lovely, just what I needed. I sat at the edge, enjoying the view of the hectic street below and the temple in the distance.

Refreshed and shoes retrieved I went back to meet up with some of others for a trip to the bamboo railway. This used to be on the approved optional activities list by Intrepid but has been removed recently so Kom wasn’t allowed to organise it for us. Fortunately yesterday’s tuk tuk driver was on hand to sort out all the admin and we were picked up for the 40 minute journey. Out through gorgeous countryside, rich with emerald green rice paddies, the water sparkling in the sunshine. Arriving at the bamboo railway it all had an ever so slightly dodgy feel, Kerry told me there were lots of pickpockets at work (she’s an ex-copper so notices these things) and our tuk tuk driver did stress for us to keep our bags close at all times. I wonder if that’s why Intrepid have removed it. I don’t think it’s the safety aspect as they happily recommend white water rafting and the like.

The bamboo railway is a working railway line that only has a train go through a few times a day. In between times they put bamboo platforms on rails (think of a kind of Alibaba flying carpet situation) which you sit cross legged on cushions and shoot along the rails at about 35kmph. It was just the best fun, I loved every second. We passed a huge pond full of pink lotus flowers and more beautiful scenery as the wind whipped through our hair

After about 15 minutes we pulled up to the end point of the track where there were 5 or 6 stalls to try and get you to buy things – the stall holders were giving it the ‘woe is me’ vibe, much more than anywhere else we’ve been, really trying to guilt you into buying things – another reason I suspect Intrepid has pulled out. Still it was no big deal, we all bought a cold drink and then waited for a bit as the real train was due to come through and we needed to wait for that before we went back!

I asked to take a picture of a beautiful Grandma there – isn’t she lovely!

Neither she or her daughter could speak English, but the daughter wrote on her hand to tell us she was 85. Bearing in mind she had traveled on the rickety old railway with us I think she’s doing pretty well for her age!

I was taking some pictures and the stall holder at the end, a really smiley lady who had been the only one not to try it on with us at all, started chatting, she spoke excellent English, I wonder what her life story was to have at some point learned it so well. She wanted to know if I liked Cambodia – I told her I loved it because all of people were so happy and she said “but you too, so smiley, so smiley!” Her name was Vo and she was absolutley gorgeous. We chatted for ages and found out we were the same age, she couldn’t stop hugging me and we declared ourselves twins!

She’s married with 4 children ranging from 20 down to 8 and told me that in Cambodia, lots of people don’t get married for love but to look after their family. She didn’t know her husband before she married him and was very scared, but she says she realised after a while he’s a good man and she loves him now so all’s well that ends well! Of course she did also want to sell us something too which was fair enough, woman has to make a living but there was no hard sell at all and I’m absolutley certain she wasn’t being nice just to get a sale. There was really nothing I wanted, I don’t really do souvenirs but Sarah had been eyeing up a bamboo railway T-shirt so I said I’d buy that for her, thus killing 2 birds with one stone of giving this beautiful lady some money but not being left with something I didn’t want. The T-shirt was 7 dollars and she was very keen I bought 2 for $13 but she was so sweet about it and we were laughing like drains as we haggled. I suggested a compromise – I gave her $10 for the T-shirt and told her to keep the change. She was so chuffed and then wanted to give both Sarah and I a friendship bracelet from a load her daughter had made. When we tried to say that was strictly unnecessary she became very serious and told us ‘you say no, you no take then I know you no love me!’ We took the bracelets 😂 She also pressed on me this amazing cricket she’d made out of palm leaves that I’d been admiring. I feel bad because his legs have fallen off so he’s a bit disabled now but isn’t he amazing! It was a real feel good encounter, in another life I think we’d have been really good friends, I came away full of joy.

On the way back a load of locals got on including a baby whose mum entrusted the older brother to hang on to him as we shot down the track with absolutely no safety rails etc – I can’t decide if we coddle our kids too much or if they have absolutely no sense of danger here – maybe somewhere in the middle.

Once we got off I wiped off all of the bugs who had died an untimely death by splattering into my face and got stuck on the insect repellant (the irony!) and we waited for our tuk tuk driver to finish his packed lunch (no sarnies here, he had a full on meat curry style dish and rice in a Tupperware. Of course I went to have a close look and be nosy, his wife had made it for him. I’d have asked for a bite but it looked a bit gristly so I resisted!

Off home, past 2 kids of around 5 and 3 stoking an enormous open fire at the side of the road – see child safety comment above – and stopping at the side of the road for a bit to take photos of the sun setting over the paddy fields and for Kerry to get a feel of being a tuk tuk driver 😂

We snacked on fresh mangosteens and dried, candied papaya, kiwi, grapes and tomatoes (turns out candied tomatoes are tooth meltingly sweet, almost inedibly so) and passed another couple of huge outdoor exercise classes like I’d seen earlier on the trip. 3 beautiful late teen girls on a moped shot past us shouting “we love you!” – obviously we shouted back that the feeling was mutual!

Quick trip to 7 Eleven for a Coke (non frozen this time) and for Sarah to get her dinner as she was staying in tonight. She bought a cardboard bowl full of instant hot chicken and cheese flavour noodles (yes, I think it’s a weird combination too…) which she then filled up with boiling water from the machine there, waited a few minutes and then the staff drained the water, leaving her with a bowl of cooked noodles to eat on the go. Apparently this is standard 7 Eleven practice in Asia! How convenient. She ate them going back (past the kids on the petrol station forecourt running around barefoot…) and insisted on giving me a taste – my gums stopped burning about 20 minutes later. Last I saw of her that night was in the lift with a red face and watering eyes saying “oh my god” over and over 😂

Back to the room passing a monk at an ATM – there’s got to be a joke in there somewhere, surely, and to stash the emergency snacks I’d bought.

Kerry, Luigi, Juliet and I treated ourselves to a fancy evening out and went for cocktails at the most beautiful bar called Mrs Wong’s at Battambang (you have to kind of fudge the pronunciation to make it work but it was a good effort!)

It was like being in the set of Miss Saigon, with deep turquoise walls, dark cane furniture and lanterns everywhere.

Even better was the toilet in fuschia pink with a pineapple theme that the owners had really committed to. On exiting I declared it my favourite wee I’d ever had! The waiter seemed a bit alarmed by this but I stand by it!

We went before and after dinner and we were the only people there both times. I’m not sure where Battambang does it’s partying but it certainly wasn’t the district we stayed in.

I think the waiters might have been very new too – the other 3 ordered espresso martinis (lime and soda for me. Ridiculously cheap date!) and the waiter brought them over one at a time, walking so, so slowly with his tongue between his teeth so as not to spill it. Remember the soup sketch with Julie Waters? It was just like that except he did in fact manage to keep the drink inside the glass. We clapped his efforts after each delivery, the stress was absolute!

Dinner was in a beautiful modern restaurant that been set up to benefit disadvantaged youth and the food was stunning, probably the first meal I’ve had here that I would actively seek out again. We shared steamed aubergine dumplings and chicken satay to start and I had king prawns in the most amazing chilli jam sauce with peppercorns, served with rice (of course).

Kerry had a cocktail, Juliet a glass of wine, Luigi and I a freshly squeezed watermelon juice and we had a big bottle of water for the table. The bill came to £15 a head! You really can’t spend much money on food here however much you try. We walked back through deserted streets at the very late hour of 10.30 (I’m not joking, that’s the latest I’ve been out so far!) and I crashed into bed ready for tomorrows adventures 😍

Today I’ll leave you first on random things I saw today celebrating the year of the rabbit.

And then on some of the always cute kids we saw today.

And one that must be too young to ride a moped whatever country he lives in, surely?!

Lots of love always xxx